The first five go like this:
Three prostitutes entered Roul’s cafe off the night streets, passing through the beaded curtain into the bright lights of the cafe, and I immediately thought of some triple goddess of suffering. “Anything else?” I said to the two guys in the side booth, pen ready to jot down their order, but I was watching the prostitutes up front, curious what they were doing in here.
“Just the pie,” answered the bearded guy, laughing, horsing around with his buddy, the two of them just out of some movie that had pumped them up, rah rah, I’ll take testosterone with that and a side of violence. I tried to smile.
So, here’s the good: Action, movement, dialogue, curiosity.
Bad: the prose is a little dull considering how much action, movement, dialogue and curiosity has been peaked. I was skeptical about downloading this book even though it was free for exactly this reason. A book can get better even if it doesn’t lead with a concrete first five, but a book that has a slow, dull or less than vibrant author voice backing the story rarely has room for improvement.
As a first time writer, you’ll be hesitant and insecure. My advice; through caution to the wind. You’ll never find out who you are or how you sound as a writer by playing it safe. Stop worrying about what you think the reader wants to read and write what you (and most importantly your character(s)) want to write.
Anne Rice just wrote a book called The Wolf Gift. In it, she has written a sex scene between a werewolf (in wolf form) and his human lover. Some people might be thinking kinky right now. Others might be thinking gross! Either way, that scene would have never seen the light of day if Anne Rice had played it safe. She didn’t care about whether people wanted to read something so unusual. She went where the character told her to go.
New writers as well as old should always, always remember to go big or go home.
Neither of these books are Free on Amazon right now, but I will provide the links all the same.